Sleep study? Not quite.

So the sleep study people stood me up last Friday night.

I arrived on time and there was only a locked door, the surrounding woods, and an empty parking lot. I rang the buzzer several times, only to confirm my not-so-sneaking suspicion that absolutely no human was within ten miles of the place.

At this point in the evening, I was indescribably tired from not being able to have caffeine or chocolate, about to pass out from sleepiness, AND, here’s the kicker, I really had to pee. So I said, “fuck this,” walked over to the woods and peed. But here’s other kicker, right at that moment, a van pulled in the parking lot. It was your classic creeper van, driving around an empty parking lot at night with a cat in the passenger seat. The driver stared at me, as I emerged from the woods and then drove past me. Don’t even try to tell me he wasn’t a drug dealer, because I have never been in such an unambiguous situation. I might have talked to him too, had I not been in the middle nowhere and it wasn’t getting to be late at night.

Crying, I got into my car and decided to drive to another location of the same sleep center. But of course it had to be outside the city I live in by a good 35 miles… that’s just how life works sometimes. So I went on a wild goose chase down the interstate, blaring music, and trying to not to fall asleep. I miraculously located the other sleep center and I saw a few cars and some lights on, so I rang the buzzer.

A jolly, plump guy in scrubs opened the door and let me step inside. I mean, I’m a 21 year old college girl. I don’t exactly look like a creep or an ax murderer. I asked him if he was with the sleep lab and he said yes. I then explained to him my situation and he kindly understood and let me walk back to the lab with him.

He looked me up in the system and explained to me why they had screwed up my appointment that night: they literally forgot about me, because they were in the process of being bought by another company the very next day. We then joked around for a half hour or so. I felt like I had made a friend, which is honestly what I needed after being put through such uncertainty and agony that night.

Since I was sitting in the lab in front of his computer, I got to peek at my medical chart which read, “Test ordered for: narcolepsy without cataplexy (awaiting confirmation).” So apparently there’s a damn good chance I’m narcoleptic and all my problems stem from pure sleepiness. Huh.

Anyhow, I then drove back to campus and called my mom and proceeded to rant about the sucky nature of healthcare at times… I now have to reschedule my appointment and maybe even go somewhere else if this place can’t get its shit together…

My life is so strange, but at least it makes for entertaining stories sometimes. This particular experience was definitely not the normal college Friday night, but hey, I got to drive on different roads that I’ve never been on before, I peed in the wilderness, made a friend, and creeped on my medical records, all while about to pass out from tiredness. Seems a lot like drunken shenanigans to me… Maybe it wasn’t all that different, just the circumstances. I’ll blog more if and when I ever do manage to get a sleep study done.

Sigh.

This could take a while.